Day of lessons

We are called not merely to forgive the sins of others against us, but
to love them as if the sin had never been committed. That is the
difference between mercy and grace lived out through relationship
trials.

Angela and I had a tough day today, but nevertheless, it was a day
filled with lessons. We were both selfish and negative most of the
day; bickering over shopping, groceries, and other little things.
Angela said at about 6:00pm that she wished it would just be tomorrow
already. Right then, I took off her engagement ring and got on one
knee. I said to her that, in our lives together, I would not settle
for wasted days. That even if we had a bad morning and day, we could
still create a great evening. I told her that, if we tried, we could
work to be positive with each other as our default. We should both
assume that whatever the other does, it is out of love. I put the ring
back on her finger, as a reminder of our covenant of love. We set out
right there to be more patient with each other for the rest of the
night. We went out on a family friend's boat to see the glow worms
mating. It was very cool, they produce biophosphourescence (sp?) and
light up in the water. I saw a few up very close because I was in the
water too! Our conversation helped us out later due to an unfortunate
dancing incident which connected Angela's fist with the area that
hurts the most, if you know what I mean. My initial reaction was
pretty bad. It hurt, and I wanted her to know, I thought she had done
it on purpose. When I went to the front of the boat to cool my head, I
was overcome with a great calm and love for her. That's when I went
back and we hugged and got through it. The Lord has really placed the
words of John Piper on my heart recently, from his book that I
finished entitled "This Momentary Marriage". I have been working
lately on my calling as a husband to lead Angela in reconciliation,
even when whatever happened is "her fault". It is my job to not only
forgive her, but show her my deep love as if she had never punched me
where it counts! That is the difference between mercy and grace. I am
not called just to forgive her, but I am called to love her completely
blinded to whatever she has done. That is what God has done for me,
and He did that so that the love He gave me would overflow to those in
my life, especially to the woman I love the most in this world!! The
good thing about these lessons is that we learn them through so many
different experiences, that eventually they become habit. The two of
us had the pleasure of some alone time tonight, and we got to talk and
pray about our lessons from the day. I love her so much, and it fills
my heart with joy to see us get through this day and end up on top and
in love. As we prepare for marriage, I am happy to see our strengths
come out. Marriage is not primarily about staying in love, it is about
displaying Christ's love for His Church through our commitment, and
out of that lasting commitment comes great love and joy. "if you put
first things first, second things become better".

Sorry for the long post, I was in the mood to share. We love you all
so much, and we can't wait to see you in just two days!!

Tommy
7/11/09 1:00am Bermuda